Friday, July 15, 2005

Handy is Dandy

But liquor is quicker! Don’t you just hate having to fix things? Well myself I think I should have my own handy man on call 24/7. Not only for the obvious, but for getting a little fun in too - out of it, catch my drift.

With not having a husband to do what we feel men’s jobs should be, that just leaves all the crap around here for me! Changing the air filters for the A/C, when the dog hair starts coming out of the vent holes – someone should notice. Everyone agrees on the garbage, it has to go sooner or later. I have my own tool box, as hard as it is to tell everyone. Ouch! All the tools, screws, and nails needed. Have a drill that I just love, it saves me time and creates a ton of noise. Problem is I have to use a level, yardstick, and pencil, and you name it for a project. Thank GOD, I know a little about electronics because no one here would have DVD players, VCRs, stereos, TVs, or computers. It’s if a light bulb goes out, it goes unnoticed, how is that when you can’t see? Do you not just hate it when drawers gets off their track and it hangs until it drives you crazy? Then you hurt yourself slamming and jiggling it until you get it right or hurt yourself. Dryer lint, empty toilet paper rolls, and water levels changes, empty containers in the frig, etc.

Oh yeah, we can’t forget the toilet. No one can figure out how to use a plunger. Just call Mom, she is great at that. Crap why me? Do I look like someone that can take care of your original problem? I do not want to witness that shit much less help to make it disappear.

My Beemer always needs washing, but no one volunteers. Forget the waxing; the detail man sees me once a year. Dog remains on the paper, does no one smell or see? I dare not leave Bella by herself, she gets me back. She knows I am not supposed to leave the house.

My talents include knowing how to use a lawn mower, tiller, and all the operating equipment that hang next to them, electrician – dimmer light installer etc., mechanic – yuck but have to add oil sometimes or jump off the battery, and blow some air in the tires. Construction in progress as destruction happens. A genius – assembling from instructions WOW – I am so smart. I get compliments occasionally, so I will be a sucker and keep falling for it. I could bitch on and the list 50 more pet peeves and talents, but I will save you from that.

When they hear the pill bottles rattling and the liquor cabinet door has been opened, no MO suggestions for me! I guess I missed the train, and was left at the station!! And forgot to catch the last one for my husband!
P.S. I snuck out of “Time Out” for a second, still not finished in my little room yet. Be back soon!
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