Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Say it Ain’t So!!

First thing this a.m. before I could even finish a half of cup of coffee and take my meds, my sister calls me. She is talking about her holiday from hell. (ninety to nothing-lol) I told her I needed to call her back with my notepad in hand. To my understanding, Mr. Leo (my brother-in-law) agreed under pressure to attend a cookout at Buck’s Trailer (an employee) without telling my sister beforehand. (Not a good move) All his regular drinking buddies “The Guys” were going, so why not, it would save him a couple hundred on feeding the crew at their house. Usually at the shop Mr. Leo pays for all the beer in the afternoons, so this would be a switch for different scenery. Besides, today a glimpse of “The Tube” or “Single Barrel” (equals = trailer for ones like me that did not know) bragged about but never “SEEN”. As my daughter noted the tube she thought meant TV.

Before my sister was clued in on their plans, she gets this ‘more than bizarre’ phone call. She answered without first screening the caller-id, this “country-fied voice” says “What’s up Chicken Butt?” My sister totally off guard and almost hung up answered “Who the HELL is this?” A nasal sounding squelch replied “This is Betty Lou, just wanderrrrring if yáll comin over!”

My sister’s eyes resembled the “Runaway Bride’s” after arriving. The décor was furnished exclusively by “Mossy Oaks”. For you guys like myself that had no clue of what that meant, I had to look it up online. It turned out the camouflaged print surroundings included everything from the toilet seat cover to the bed linens. My sister managed heroically somehow to not fall down laughing. She asks inquisitively, pretending to be interested, about this store and what it sells other than hunting gear. The more Betty Lou drank the more she stuttered, then she answered with more info than anyone desired. The words came out clear enough to where you did not want to go there. Betty Lou went into detail how Buck gets excited by their line of lingerie, but she “drawled the line” wearing that urine deer scent (not her descriptive words exactly) I thought I would spare you! Immediately my sister felt the hotdog moving upward in her esophagus, forgot to take the Previcid. At that point it was time to leave. My response to my sister was “I got a Visional on this” How did you handle it? She said, “I just kept downing the beers, came home and DE-LICED myself. Tell me it ain’t so?

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