Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Women at the Bar

Just imagine limited restaurants are open with curfews that have an hour or longer line. You are hungry, dressed very ‘emphasizing’- casually and you decide to go to the bar to wait. It is obvious that most people have been busy trying to get their life back to normal instead of primping; they are still yucky from roughing it or both. You definitely do not look your best, by no means under these type circumstances! Take my word for it! (LOL)

My daughter and I ordered our first glass of wine! BAM! All the men in Boca apparently were ordering food to go! This brings me to the subject of pick-up lines and I thought I had heard them all.(smiling)

Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.
Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.

ONES WE WERE VERY GLAD WE DID NOT HEAR:
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
The drink: \\$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don’t need it after all.
Effective Feb 2006 All comments have been saved and hidden due to transferring to Haloscan 29 Comments

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